Drunken Mistake
by Kuro Mitsu
Summary: Naruto got drunk with Kiba while Sasuke is on a mission, which led to an interesting tattoo. My attempt at humor. SasuNaru, M for Naruto's potty mouth


**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto or any of its characters, nor do I make any money off this story.

**AN:** Ok, so I've had this on my laptop for nearly a year. I was watching an episode of _That_ _70's Show_, the one with Eric getting a tattoo on his butt while drunk, and that led to this. Going through my files, I came across this and decided to post; tried for humor but I don't think it came out too good as I'm just not good with humorous aspects. I'm in bad writer's block on my current Naruto story, so anyone waiting for the next chapter of More Than Meets The Eye, I'm trying to finish the chapter but it's a slow go right now.

**Drunken Mistake**

Blue eyes slowly blinked open, narrowing as bright morning sunshine assailed them directly. Cursing, a tan hand lifted to block the offending light while grumbles could be heard. Naruto Uzumaki shifted in bed, his arms curled under his pillow as he lay on his stomach facing the window where the light was shining on him. He yawned and stretched a little, his naked torso sliding on the silk sheets a bit.

"Finally awake?" an amused voice asked from just above.

Naruto's head shot up at the voice. He shrieked in a very unmanly fashion as his startled gaze met the grinning face of Kiba Inuzuka just inches from his own.

"Kiba, you asswipe! Don't do that!" Naruto screeched. He winced in pain as his head throbbed dully at the noise. His mind raced to recall why his head felt like it was about to split open, but he drew a blank at the moment. Glaring at the brunette who was still laughing, Naruto sat up leisurely only to yelp in pain as his right buttock met the solid surface of his bed.

"What the fuck…?" He felt gingerly around the area, not feeling a wound, but there was a definite slight swelling where the pain originated from.

"Still sore? Kinda surpised, thought Kyuubi woulda healed it by now. 'Course, you were so hammered last night maybe it affected the fox too." The rookie 9, along with Neji, Lee and TenTen, all knew about Naruto housing the nine-tailed fox demon. Thankfully none of them treated him differently, which had been his biggest fear.

Naruto threw a heated glower on the dog nin. "What the hell happened last night? And what do you mean 'still sore'? What the fuck did you do to me?"

"I didn't do anything! You did it to yourself. So don't get pissy with me if your ass hurts." A shit-eating grin lit up the Inuzuka's face as he continued laughing.

"Damn it, Kiba! What the fuck is wrong with my ass? And if you say one joke about mine and Sasuke's sex life I swear I will beat the shit out of you and toss you out on your ass!" Naruto snarled. He and Sasuke had been a couple for around three months now, and though they did switch positions on who was top, most times Naruto was bottom though he didn't really mind – not that he'd ever tell Sasuke that of course. Hard enough fighting for dominance at times, but if Sasuke heard that then Naruto would never top again.

He stood and shuffled slowly to his dresser, turning to get a look in the large mirror hanging above it and see what was making his butt sore. Now that he was a bit more coherent memories were coming back to him. He remembered going out drinking with Kiba, Shikamaru and Ino and meeting up with Choji and Sai at the bar. And the drinking contest he got into with Kakashi; since the man was no longer his sensei and his former students were all now adults, the pale-haired nin found no problem drinking with them on occasion.

Deep in thought, Naruto struggled to remember what else happened. He remembered leaving the bar, but after that it was blank. He sighed in frustration. _How much alcohol did I have last night?_

Still snickering, Kiba sat on a chair in the corner of the bedroom, watching Naruto stumble around. He was getting a huge kick out of this; not often he was able to see Naruto so out of it, and last night was the first he'd ever seen the blonde drunk. Hell, with Naruto's strong tolerance and quick healing powers he honestly didn't think he _could_ get drunk. So he planned to get as much entertainment as he could before Sasuke returned from his mission and killed him for getting his boyfriend so plastered.

Standing in front of the mirror, Naruto lowered the waistband of his sweatpants far enough to get a look at where the pain was located. His eyes nearly bugged out of his head when he saw what was causing the soreness. Growling, he turned to Kiba.

"What the _fuck_ is on my ass?"

Kiba snorted. "Hey, I had nothing to do with that! That was all your idea."

"I would never have asked for something like this! This is a sick joke!" He went to sit down on the edge of the bed but shot back up with a hiss as he forgot momentarily about being too sore to sit. He scowled as Kiba's chuckles started back up, tilting his body to the left and sitting on his left hip.

"What the hell am I gonna do? I can't have Sasuke see this! I'll never live it down!" He could just imagine the reaction of his boyfriend at the situation. "Why did I get a damned tattoo _on my_ _ass_?"

Kiba couldn't help it; he began laughing uncontrollably at the sight of the ruffled man in front of him. Naruto just glared at Kiba for several minutes, waiting for him to get his mirth under control. He didn't find this funny one little bit.

Finally calming down, Kiba wiped his eyes as they'd overflowed with tears and suppressed any escaping chuckles as he faced Naruto.

"You know," Sasuke's cold voice suddenly filled the bedroom, "if I didn't trust Naruto as much as I do, I might find this a bit… suspect. Want to tell me what you're doing in _my_ bedroom with my half-naked boyfriend, Inuzuka?" The Uchiha was standing in the doorway, still in his full ANBU gear with dried mud spattered all over his body.

Naruto rolled his eyes as he turned to face Sasuke. "Geez Sasuke, paranoid much? You know I don't sleep with a shirt, and half the time I don't sleep with anything else on either! Certainly can't keep anything on by the time we're both in bed anyway."

Nose scrunched up, Kiba clamped his hands over his ears. "Ew! TMI, dude! I don't wanna hear about the sordid details of you and the ice prince!"

Sending a glare at the dog nin, Naruto turned back to Sasuke. "I thought you wouldn't be back until tomorrow?" He made sure not to sit, not wanting to clue Sasuke in that he couldn't sit properly and have the Uchiha find the tattoo. Though he knew Sasuke would see it eventually; there was no way he could hide something like that from his lover.

"We completed the mission much sooner than we thought, and my team wanted to get home as soon as we could." Sasuke spared a quick glance in Kiba's direction before focusing on Naruto. "You still didn't answer my question: why is Inuzuka in our bedroom?"

Naruto didn't reply. He watched as Sasuke began removing his ANBU gear, his mask set on the dresser as he began taking his vest and gloves off. Naruto moved to pick up the articles, wincing slightly as he flexed his right hip. Kiba stood near the door, not finding the situation quite as funny now that Sasuke was in the room. Before he could make his exit though, Sasuke's sharp eyes caught Naruto's careful movements.

"What's wrong with your leg?"

Naruto froze. "What do you mean?"

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "You're keeping your weight off your right leg. Are you hurt?"

Damn his Uchiha eyes! Naruto sighed; oh well, he had to show Sasuke sooner or later, may as well be sooner.

"Well, I sorta… ." Sasuke's brows rose almost to his hairline as Naruto spit out his reply so fast it was almost incomprehensible.

"Would you mind repeating that, slower this time?"

Gritting his teeth together, Naruto stated clearly, "I got drunk and ended up getting a tattoo. There, happy?"

Raking his eyes over the blonde's form, Sasuke smirked. That made Naruto's hackles rise. And he hasn't even told him where it is or _what_ it is yet.

"I'm assuming it's on your right leg?"

Kiba snorted. Sasuke's dark eyes swung to Kiba in annoyance. "What?"

The brunette ignored Naruto's warning stare and grinned at the Uchiha. "It's not on his leg, it's on his butt. Idiot can't even sit down!" Cackles filled the room.

"Shut up, Kiba!" Naruto growled.

His curiosity now piqued, Sasuke nodded towards Naruto. "And why did you decide to have one put there?"

Naruto blushed. "I don't know! I don't even remember going to the tattoo parlor, much less telling someone to permanently write something on my ass with a sharp needle! I was drunk!"

Sasuke was definitely curious now. "What does it say?" he asked.

Feeling like his face was about to boil, Naruto just turned away. Sasuke then looked at Kiba and waited for an answer.

A full-blown smirk graced Sasuke's lips as Kiba finished his tale and hurriedly made his getaway. Apparently Kiba'd gotten the bright idea to take Naruto to the tattoo parlor after a night of drinking because in his drunken stupor Naruto had remarked how cool it would be to have a tattoo. Kiba had sat and watched as Naruto drunkenly told the tattoo artist he wanted Sasuke's name, only he'd been slurring so badly that the artist had gotten it a bit… well, wrong.

"_So where you want it?" the artist questioned Naruto, who sat lopsided in the reclining chair with a goofy grin on his face. His blue eyes were clouded and bloodshot from alcohol, his gaze not seeming able to focus on any one thing at the moment._

"_Sas… uke…" his mumbles were almost unintelligible, his voice slurring so badly from the alcohol he'd consumed. "Sas… al'ays… su'h an… ass…" Naruto's voice dying as he fought not to pass out._

_The tattoo artist quirked an eyebrow at Kiba. "Sounds like he said 'Sas' Uke' on his ass." Kiba choked back a laugh, shrugging his shoulders. Oh he'd get a hell of a laugh over this for a long time, no doubt of that. And the Uchiha couldn't touch him since technically he had nothing to do with this. _

_The artist then did a small sketch for Naruto, but the blonde was pretty much out of it. He just grinned sappily and rolled over, trying to find a comfortable spot to sleep. He didn't even twitch when his pants were lowered enough to expose his right buttock and the design set, or when the tattoo needle pierced his skin as the artist began. Not the first time he'd had a client too drunk to really feel pain from the tattoo, but he'd definitely feel it in the morning. _

_Didn't take long at all, and less than twenty minutes later Kiba had managed to rouse Naruto and was leading the half-sleeping blonde out of the parlor and guiding him towards his and the Uchiha's shared apartment. Heh, Sasuke will have one hell of a surprise next time he sees Naruto._

No immediate response came from the Uchiha after Kiba had gone. The dark-haired man just stood there in silent contemplation, staring at the wall. Naruto huffed; he'd been so sure Sasuke would be upset or angry, but he certainly wasn't expecting this blank reaction. He shrugged and reached into the nearby dresser to grab some clean clothes, yanking down his sweats and flinging them into the closet's hamper.

Unknown to Naruto, Sasuke was fighting not to burst into laughter. It was only his strict Uchiha upbringing that kept his face passive and hiding his true emotions from Naruto.

Coming out of his thoughts at Naruto's movements, Sasuke lifted a brow as he watched Naruto walk away, now completely nude, into the adjoining bathroom. He stifled a snort as he finally caught sight of the tattoo. On the blonde's right ass cheek in large bold letters was '**SAS' UKE**'. A devilish smirk settled on pale lips as the Uchiha followed his boyfriend into the shower. He wouldn't argue with what was so plainly written.


End file.
